4/25/2012

6th Edition already? My Rant & What I'd like to see!

2004 for 4th edition, 2008 for 5th... so yeah, following that trend, I guess Games Workshop is due for another revision of Warhammer 40K.  Break out the administratum's best and brightest to tweak it yet again!
Yea!!  C'mon lads! Let's do something about inflation besides raising our prices!  Let's tweak the core rules!

Speculation and sleuthing and sifting through real and imagined hints is quickly becoming rampant.  Me?  I'm still looking up rules as I play.  By no means do I have razor sharp mental acumen when it comes to the rules; I still like 3rd edition frankly... I make no apologies or excuses for that.  3rd edition was a radical departure from the tangle that was 2nd ed. Everything since then has been built off that 3rd ed. streamlining, tweaking it here and there.  Well, and the "fluff" has become increasingly depressing.  Chronically so. 

From the Age of Imperium to "The Time of Ending?"  How do I go on? 
Still, the new rules are coming and I'm a sucker for the awesomeness of the 40K Universe and always have been!  And because I have fun collecting, painting and converting GW's peerless, ever improving, excellent models, I'm relaxed in the notion that for another 4 or 5 years, I'll be leafing through another rulebook to lose properly to my opponents.
Wow...this is almost as big as the 8th edition Warhammer rules!

So truthfully, I care less about the rule changes (since all real innovation happened in '98) and want to present my wish list for a 6th edition:










First off, f--k Necrons.  Seriously.  I broke my own rule recently for a friend and played against Necrons (And when I say "played" I mean "got tabled by") Necrons -- an army whose capacity for shear nonsense and hip-deep bullshit knows no bounds.  If this game has a joy vacuum, it's the Sci-Fi version of the undead: the Necrons.  They ought to go away.

Shoot me again, I don't mind standing up a third time!


The real kick in the ass though, is this should be the one of the easiest of all 40K armies to defeat, permanently.  Here's 2 ways how via the fluff.  On a forgotten agro world, somewhere in the old halo stars at the edges of the galaxy, some local hick falls into a hole and finds the Necrons master off switch.  That's it, just a switch.  Like the Borg in Star Trek, the Necrons are told to go back to sleep...galaxy wide. Ni-night, sleepy time!
Huh huh, when I press this one it sounds like a fart, huh huh huh...

OR while on a smoke break, one of Mars' finest Adeptus realizes he left out his Mango Guacamole near his mercury test kit... and inadvertently he's created a virus that attacks and kills living metal -- (See Professor Kettlewell in Doctor Who: Robot 1975)  -- in a graphic, hyper rusty way. 

Yeah, they WERE pretty dangerous, till the Adeptus there hit them with the spray bottle!
I'm a Duro, not a pinko Tau, actually.

Next on the list, the Tau.  Get lost. You've had your 15 minutes, now go back in the time tunnel to the Cantina where you belong! 



These guys have what...a couple dozen planets and no real way to use the warp except like Buck Rogers did in the 70's?  And the Orks are knocking on their back door?  Later Space Commies.



As George Carlin used to say, and I paraphrase: It's thoughts like these that kept me out of the really good schools...

2 comments:

  1. I keeled over laughing, good stuff! Better, I don't totally disagree...
    Great blog, brotha!

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  2. No worries old friend. It was a learning experience for both of us last Sunday when you faced off against my Necrons for the first time. They do have a lot of broken stuff. BUT in their defense it would have been less striking against a army with a newer codex. Chuck the Marine wants me to play his Soul Drinkers(BA) army this summer and I bet his whirling dervishes of close combat fury will definitely keep me on my toes.
    But also let's look at some of the things that happened too. You roll more 1's in one game then a crap table in Vegas sees in a month. Also my stellar IBB rolls didn't hurt either. Remember the one where you killed 9 and 7 returned that even made me sick. I wonder how I would do against a mechanized Guard force. But I will continue to run games at the local shop and I'll bring something else to play so people don't hate me. But I have to say. I've been playing CSMs since 1987 and it is weird to have the broken army now.

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